05.02.09

He's like a voice inside my head. The more I try to extract him, the louder he becomes. A drug I've always needed, and would do anything to taste. Can a person be an addiction? Or, do I create him in my mind to be so..? Whatever the reason, he controls all of me. Without his presence, even. Junkie antics make a foolish mess of me. If only I could shut him up... But, how do you silence what's not there? His demands screaming; Ringing through my head, and I act wrecklessly in result. Though the man, who's voice I hear, is more than unaware of the fire that he left burning through my veins. I see him everywhere. Paranoid, I feel him watching my every move, and half of me hopes he's truly there. Our hate is love. The more he hurts me, the more I long to be his prey. Maybe, I'm just sick and need more help then I'll ever admit to. Yet, I want to believe he'll love the same, and the more that I surrender to him, the more he craves to take me over. I've never felt so sick for touch, or so crushed by words. It doesn't fade and I doubt it ever will... I, therefore, am forever lost.