I find it strange how a lie can lie,
And go on lying on the tips of everyone's tongue.
How many ways can your words be spun?
And, I never know the right from wrong...
The whispers seep in and out of our ears...
What is it you want us to hear?
These syllables are fractured.
Each sentence just contradicts.
Who's to know the fact from fiction,
When everyone's so full of shit...?
___________________________________
Chew me up then spit me back out
Am I your favorite flavor, again?
You take your girls like a suicide, dear
And that's a mix I'll never be in.
______________________
LMAO WOW yeah suckage but w/e that's all I've written since that last post! WOO! Go homelessness!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
01.25.09
IN EDIT...
I'm trying to hold it together, but my hands are small.
Hard times really just get worse, afterall...
And, these weights I've been lifting, have sunk without their spot.
How can you be an optimist when you're constantly getting caught?
Sleeping days never rested anyone...
Only stressed us more on what we should've done.
Keep working for the day you'll be away from here...
Keep at it, but you're never ever near...
Late nights, short stays, early mornings, long days.
And, I'm still running from my past...It finds me...
Even when I've stopped looking back... I can't let go...
It's an endless inconvience...
But, I'm not stopping...
I'll make it through, on my own...
Well, you clocked out for another pay...
What's living if you never move to make a change?
Don't let yourself become too comfortable...
Or, the moments that you make won't be meaningful...
Time's not gonna stop for anything...
Why waste your time, staring at the ceiling?
There's nothing that can hold you down...
But, yourself when you're cowering out...
And, I'm still running from my past...It finds me...
Even when I've stopped looking back... I can't let go...
It's a drive without a map...
But, I'm not stopping...
Just try to hold me back...
I'm running for the answers...
And it's not easy, but I'll manage either way...
It's a trip into a nice fall...
Still I'm not stopping...
I've known the way all along...
_____________________________________________________
CHRISTINE
Tearing pages from the book...
I see her eyes lose their glow,
In a cupboard, where we hid...
That was many years ago...
Saline filled the shores when the moon rose to the night...
She said, "How is this world so empty, when there's stars that fill the sky?"
As the wind blew through the trees and made her curls lift in the air...
The bitter turned to sweetness and she smiled, "Nothing's fair..."
The image is distorted...
Then again, so is my mind...
In which, I try to keep the details,
Of her face that always shined...
Scraped knees below the tattered hem of a dress, so very worn...
The shadows falling from the clouds, were the remains of a passing storm...
And, it's darkness ate away at every inch within it's path...
But never, on her porcelein skin, was it's mark ever cast...
And, I try to find the places,
That you said you longed to see...
Yet, I only found more spaces,
In between us, my Christine.
The feet printed across the sand, washed away with each rough tide...
She knew that there was never a simple way to say goodbye.
So, when the Earth had finally made it's way to face the sun,
Each surge upon the coast was her farewell, forever sung.
I'm trying to hold it together, but my hands are small.
Hard times really just get worse, afterall...
And, these weights I've been lifting, have sunk without their spot.
How can you be an optimist when you're constantly getting caught?
Sleeping days never rested anyone...
Only stressed us more on what we should've done.
Keep working for the day you'll be away from here...
Keep at it, but you're never ever near...
Late nights, short stays, early mornings, long days.
And, I'm still running from my past...It finds me...
Even when I've stopped looking back... I can't let go...
It's an endless inconvience...
But, I'm not stopping...
I'll make it through, on my own...
Well, you clocked out for another pay...
What's living if you never move to make a change?
Don't let yourself become too comfortable...
Or, the moments that you make won't be meaningful...
Time's not gonna stop for anything...
Why waste your time, staring at the ceiling?
There's nothing that can hold you down...
But, yourself when you're cowering out...
And, I'm still running from my past...It finds me...
Even when I've stopped looking back... I can't let go...
It's a drive without a map...
But, I'm not stopping...
Just try to hold me back...
I'm running for the answers...
And it's not easy, but I'll manage either way...
It's a trip into a nice fall...
Still I'm not stopping...
I've known the way all along...
_____________________________________________________
CHRISTINE
Tearing pages from the book...
I see her eyes lose their glow,
In a cupboard, where we hid...
That was many years ago...
Saline filled the shores when the moon rose to the night...
She said, "How is this world so empty, when there's stars that fill the sky?"
As the wind blew through the trees and made her curls lift in the air...
The bitter turned to sweetness and she smiled, "Nothing's fair..."
The image is distorted...
Then again, so is my mind...
In which, I try to keep the details,
Of her face that always shined...
Scraped knees below the tattered hem of a dress, so very worn...
The shadows falling from the clouds, were the remains of a passing storm...
And, it's darkness ate away at every inch within it's path...
But never, on her porcelein skin, was it's mark ever cast...
And, I try to find the places,
That you said you longed to see...
Yet, I only found more spaces,
In between us, my Christine.
The feet printed across the sand, washed away with each rough tide...
She knew that there was never a simple way to say goodbye.
So, when the Earth had finally made it's way to face the sun,
Each surge upon the coast was her farewell, forever sung.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
01.17.09
.EVERYTHING'S MUTE.
The dark circle closed in on my view again...
How many times have I been here before?
No reason to wake, or any wills to pursue...
Can a person get dusty if they don't move?
Words I speak turn to background noise...
The volume or tone makes no difference.
Nor the meaning or heart that's given with each sound.
What's there to say, if you can't listen?
Scars you can't see, just ones that I feel...
I cut so deep to open myself up to you...
The blood fled from me and left me dry.
It didn't matter to you if I tried...
Or, if i'm dying from your cold guiltless ways...
My heart stopped living when you threw me away.
____________________________________________________
Fuck you, Zakk...
The dark circle closed in on my view again...
How many times have I been here before?
No reason to wake, or any wills to pursue...
Can a person get dusty if they don't move?
Words I speak turn to background noise...
The volume or tone makes no difference.
Nor the meaning or heart that's given with each sound.
What's there to say, if you can't listen?
Scars you can't see, just ones that I feel...
I cut so deep to open myself up to you...
The blood fled from me and left me dry.
It didn't matter to you if I tried...
Or, if i'm dying from your cold guiltless ways...
My heart stopped living when you threw me away.
____________________________________________________
Fuck you, Zakk...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
01.15.09 - Incomplete Writings
These are just a bunch of writings I found, while cleaning out my external hard-drive's document files... Some of these are almost finished, while others make no sense... I just thought it'd be a good example of some of my writing... Or, the way I write... Idk...
Crash
Take a gun to my head...
Retrieve the thoughts that I dread...
Her face, your lies...
You make me sick, I despise your name.
Crash, I've fallen down
Dance
Da-da-da-dance
Da-da-da-dance
Da-da-da-dance
Dance with the lights.
This place is so JUICY,
Look at all you crazy people
Dressed in pointy awkward patterns
Exploding with bright colors...
The waves that you're making, as your body takes the floor,
It's so alluring, although threatening as I'm trying to approach.
Spinning as I'm walking towards your static filled eyes,
This shock of pure seduction, leaves me standing paralyzed.
When music takes over,
It throws you down with quickened beats.
Different pitches echo through your ears,
While you try to stay on your feet.
Da-da-da-dance
Da-da-dance
Glitter covered ground,
Shadow pasted walls...
The bass is taking over,
Throw yourself into the sound.
Hit & Run
Well I thought today was going to be the same as every day that's passed before,
We woke, got dressed, we ate, and walked out the door...
The piercing brightness of the sun had stung my eyes,
As I grabbed your arm and we walked calmly side by side...
The streets were wet from the rain that came last night,
The traffic jammed and the sidewalks were crammed so tight,
I held your hand as we skipped quickly across the street,
And that's when I hit the road and the tires screeched..
Chaos of words and the whirlwind of shapes,
The sewing of sutures and the mending of scrapes,
My head rushing round, could this be a dream
The reality sunk in that it was a part of the scheme
Untitled
I've seen my share of shit...
I haven't been too many places.
It's hard, I can't recall a name
Because I'm just rememberin' faces.
Glass is half empty,
Yet, I'm drinking it like it's full.
Bottoms Up, this bottle's down...
Vision blurred...Take the keys and go...
It's like a deaf-man, the way I listen...
Quickly, I forget the words you say.
Can you sound like a poet, to catch my attention?
'Cause in my head lines linger, and you'd stay.
Then, you'll echo while I'm sitting, &
Speak sweet, softly as I walk.
It's wasteful how life's a short series...
Made were many moments. Now, just written off.
Does that leave empty space, that maybe we could fill?
Let's make this permanent...
Yours is a face of pure skill...God had time for you.
Wishing's just wasting thought...
How's hoping gonna get you anywhere?
Change doesn't just come...
You're clearly without.
Lazy notions, you know, are...
...It's the random act made
Untitled
Weather-reports sure were true,
But, for you it was just another excuse.
Six months have passed and still no chance,
Of having your warm-skin grace my hand.
Shannon
She's Toxic,
got Looks that kill
One glance at her will turn your stomach ill
But you better think twice before you touch the forbidden fruit,
For she'll play with your mind and she'll lie like the truth
Her thighs lead to a place of heaven,
But you'll go through hell, before you'll ever get in
She's laced with malice and poision,
One kiss is going to do you in.
She looks like an angel,
Though she's fallen so far,
You'll regret the lust and it'll tear you apart
It's girls like her that will drive you insane
They make you their toys and your pain a game...
Better run,
You're losing all sight,
'Cause she's wearing you down, she's stealing all pride
Untitled
What cha' gonna do about it baby?
We're Getting Crushed By The Man Cause We Voted So
We're Getting Crushed By The Man Cause He Said It's So
Storm
I need you to feel like me,
I need you to see the world as I see,
With a fucked up point of view.
I need you to breathe with me,
For any second now, it'll fall through,
My body collapsing on to you.
And as I'm lying here,
I hope to feel you gasping air,
As you cry out for someone, to change your hurt back into numb,
And as the ambulance collides with the thunder from the skies,
The tears fall flailing from the clouds, as the hour glass runs down.
As you look into my eyes, you unveil the true disguise,
There's no secrets you don't know, nor a beauty that's too bold,
Simply a girl who's fell from grace, left this earth without a trace,
And as the night welcomes the day, what we began will fade away....
Turn Back Time
Thought it was One...
Now, it's two in the morning...
This ideal sleep disenegrates from my mind.
Slowly, potential cancer burns my lungs...
It's but reality that keeps me up.
Everything I hoped, you are...
But all that I dreaded, came to be.
Living life beneath shadows of regret.
It's not what it seems....
Color my dream...
Hours pass like leaves in the fall,
All at once, 'til there's none at all...
Can you tell me which way's down?
I never know, but surely I am on my way there now...
Is this a countdown, are we going somewhere?
Just turn it back...(turn it back)
I don't want to be here, anymore.
What if I said I'm sorry, then reset the clocks...
Would I wake to find you
Consequences
A night to remember, but you'll want to forget.
The way that she whispered, the things she had said.
When she moved passed the headlights and into your car,
It seemed so familiar but would not end like before...
Live Now. Die Young.
It's electrifying,
How her eyes lit up and I'm filled with terror inside.
The modern skies alight.
The world turns slow, but time goes by so fast.
And like a shot in the dark I kissed her lips.
We were running so fast.
Passed out, hit the ground,
We can't go back.
She says, "We're so fucking young."
As we dance under the stars.
She's fading out.
Her eyes so bright, and heart's hollow inside.
We're butterflies tonight.
Life's faster then we know, but somehow we all must go.
And in the blink of an eye, she was gone.
Untitled
What World Is This?
What is to this life I ask?
Yet, no one will respond.
We slave away to be educated, but have we really learned?
Yes, you know your times tables and how to clearly state our laws.
But, does your soul truly feed off of society's un-ethical flaws?
To live is to be free they say, but when freedom is at hand, we must work to be enslaved for pay, for our freedom is still planned.
So, if the laws were gone and freedom reigns would our souls be happy then?
Or, would terror rule in-place of government when all morals have run thin?
So, to this I say you make your choice for freedom cannot win.
For, even in a world built for good, evil still sets in.
We're All Disappointed
Here I am as you requested.
Alive, breathing, new.
I am yours by heaven's choice and the twisting hands of fate.
Brought into this world that's been corrupted, should I not be this way?
I am yours, though not as you wanted, for the mold was shaped another way.
The way we once laughed and the way we once loved seems to have turned to screaming & hate.
Am I to blame for being me from the influences of our world?
Does your love for me die when you realize I'm not ideal?
Or will you love me still for who I am, even though you wished for more?
Do you love me now as you loved me then?
If not, can I ever be sure?
Paranoia
The potent, dirty stench of moisture filters through my lungs.
A whirlwind of browns and greens flash before my eyes.
Running from the rustling that surrounds me,
While it's limbs crack off and snap below my fiery feet.
I'm torn and scrapped by the course and jagged arms reaching from wide, towering bodies bending from the sky.
I collapse upon the ground and taste the bitter decaying Earth on my tongue.
They're coming for me.
Display
We're living life behind a picket fence
The flowers grow and wilt again
The days are long but limited
We live our lives alone, my friend
We live our lives alone.
Thoughts we thought
Words we've said
The silenced moments
Not heard or read
Love unspoken
Secrets spilled
Broken promises
Have we still failed?
Our minds only hold what we will
Our lives we waste are our only thrill
The Beginning
Summer's here and it's ending fast
You sit and think how many days have passed
Rising heat, friends do fade
We're crawling out from under the shade.
Take it slow and relax,
There's no need to rush when you're caught in the cracks,
Stand alone and you stand blind,
All the world is intertwined.
So let it in and let it out,
Life's too short to do without.
So, let it out and let in,
This is only where we begin.
Untitled
You tell me things I've longed to hear you say
They make me sick inside
Knowing what I thought was failure was just an inconvience
"I know, I know, I won't cry"
Not just a touch, but a deep connection
Why must I feel it all the time
I want you now, more when you're by her side
Never say, "Goodbye"
Untitled
We see through closed eyes,
With lips sealed, we speak,
Listening to silence,
Acting before we think.
Drowning on dryland
Getting high, while on the ground
The world spins, standing still
& you swear we've lost ourselves
I wish I could sing to you what I see,
Yet only these words mumbled out onto paper
I want to make your soul hurt, just like mine
Someday you'll understand these things I say,
It's all in good time...
Crash
Take a gun to my head...
Retrieve the thoughts that I dread...
Her face, your lies...
You make me sick, I despise your name.
Crash, I've fallen down
Dance
Da-da-da-dance
Da-da-da-dance
Da-da-da-dance
Dance with the lights.
This place is so JUICY,
Look at all you crazy people
Dressed in pointy awkward patterns
Exploding with bright colors...
The waves that you're making, as your body takes the floor,
It's so alluring, although threatening as I'm trying to approach.
Spinning as I'm walking towards your static filled eyes,
This shock of pure seduction, leaves me standing paralyzed.
When music takes over,
It throws you down with quickened beats.
Different pitches echo through your ears,
While you try to stay on your feet.
Da-da-da-dance
Da-da-dance
Glitter covered ground,
Shadow pasted walls...
The bass is taking over,
Throw yourself into the sound.
Hit & Run
Well I thought today was going to be the same as every day that's passed before,
We woke, got dressed, we ate, and walked out the door...
The piercing brightness of the sun had stung my eyes,
As I grabbed your arm and we walked calmly side by side...
The streets were wet from the rain that came last night,
The traffic jammed and the sidewalks were crammed so tight,
I held your hand as we skipped quickly across the street,
And that's when I hit the road and the tires screeched..
Chaos of words and the whirlwind of shapes,
The sewing of sutures and the mending of scrapes,
My head rushing round, could this be a dream
The reality sunk in that it was a part of the scheme
Untitled
I've seen my share of shit...
I haven't been too many places.
It's hard, I can't recall a name
Because I'm just rememberin' faces.
Glass is half empty,
Yet, I'm drinking it like it's full.
Bottoms Up, this bottle's down...
Vision blurred...Take the keys and go...
It's like a deaf-man, the way I listen...
Quickly, I forget the words you say.
Can you sound like a poet, to catch my attention?
'Cause in my head lines linger, and you'd stay.
Then, you'll echo while I'm sitting, &
Speak sweet, softly as I walk.
It's wasteful how life's a short series...
Made were many moments. Now, just written off.
Does that leave empty space, that maybe we could fill?
Let's make this permanent...
Yours is a face of pure skill...God had time for you.
Wishing's just wasting thought...
How's hoping gonna get you anywhere?
Change doesn't just come...
You're clearly without.
Lazy notions, you know, are...
...It's the random act made
Untitled
Weather-reports sure were true,
But, for you it was just another excuse.
Six months have passed and still no chance,
Of having your warm-skin grace my hand.
Shannon
She's Toxic,
got Looks that kill
One glance at her will turn your stomach ill
But you better think twice before you touch the forbidden fruit,
For she'll play with your mind and she'll lie like the truth
Her thighs lead to a place of heaven,
But you'll go through hell, before you'll ever get in
She's laced with malice and poision,
One kiss is going to do you in.
She looks like an angel,
Though she's fallen so far,
You'll regret the lust and it'll tear you apart
It's girls like her that will drive you insane
They make you their toys and your pain a game...
Better run,
You're losing all sight,
'Cause she's wearing you down, she's stealing all pride
Untitled
What cha' gonna do about it baby?
We're Getting Crushed By The Man Cause We Voted So
We're Getting Crushed By The Man Cause He Said It's So
Storm
I need you to feel like me,
I need you to see the world as I see,
With a fucked up point of view.
I need you to breathe with me,
For any second now, it'll fall through,
My body collapsing on to you.
And as I'm lying here,
I hope to feel you gasping air,
As you cry out for someone, to change your hurt back into numb,
And as the ambulance collides with the thunder from the skies,
The tears fall flailing from the clouds, as the hour glass runs down.
As you look into my eyes, you unveil the true disguise,
There's no secrets you don't know, nor a beauty that's too bold,
Simply a girl who's fell from grace, left this earth without a trace,
And as the night welcomes the day, what we began will fade away....
Turn Back Time
Thought it was One...
Now, it's two in the morning...
This ideal sleep disenegrates from my mind.
Slowly, potential cancer burns my lungs...
It's but reality that keeps me up.
Everything I hoped, you are...
But all that I dreaded, came to be.
Living life beneath shadows of regret.
It's not what it seems....
Color my dream...
Hours pass like leaves in the fall,
All at once, 'til there's none at all...
Can you tell me which way's down?
I never know, but surely I am on my way there now...
Is this a countdown, are we going somewhere?
Just turn it back...(turn it back)
I don't want to be here, anymore.
What if I said I'm sorry, then reset the clocks...
Would I wake to find you
Consequences
A night to remember, but you'll want to forget.
The way that she whispered, the things she had said.
When she moved passed the headlights and into your car,
It seemed so familiar but would not end like before...
Live Now. Die Young.
It's electrifying,
How her eyes lit up and I'm filled with terror inside.
The modern skies alight.
The world turns slow, but time goes by so fast.
And like a shot in the dark I kissed her lips.
We were running so fast.
Passed out, hit the ground,
We can't go back.
She says, "We're so fucking young."
As we dance under the stars.
She's fading out.
Her eyes so bright, and heart's hollow inside.
We're butterflies tonight.
Life's faster then we know, but somehow we all must go.
And in the blink of an eye, she was gone.
Untitled
What World Is This?
What is to this life I ask?
Yet, no one will respond.
We slave away to be educated, but have we really learned?
Yes, you know your times tables and how to clearly state our laws.
But, does your soul truly feed off of society's un-ethical flaws?
To live is to be free they say, but when freedom is at hand, we must work to be enslaved for pay, for our freedom is still planned.
So, if the laws were gone and freedom reigns would our souls be happy then?
Or, would terror rule in-place of government when all morals have run thin?
So, to this I say you make your choice for freedom cannot win.
For, even in a world built for good, evil still sets in.
We're All Disappointed
Here I am as you requested.
Alive, breathing, new.
I am yours by heaven's choice and the twisting hands of fate.
Brought into this world that's been corrupted, should I not be this way?
I am yours, though not as you wanted, for the mold was shaped another way.
The way we once laughed and the way we once loved seems to have turned to screaming & hate.
Am I to blame for being me from the influences of our world?
Does your love for me die when you realize I'm not ideal?
Or will you love me still for who I am, even though you wished for more?
Do you love me now as you loved me then?
If not, can I ever be sure?
Paranoia
The potent, dirty stench of moisture filters through my lungs.
A whirlwind of browns and greens flash before my eyes.
Running from the rustling that surrounds me,
While it's limbs crack off and snap below my fiery feet.
I'm torn and scrapped by the course and jagged arms reaching from wide, towering bodies bending from the sky.
I collapse upon the ground and taste the bitter decaying Earth on my tongue.
They're coming for me.
Display
We're living life behind a picket fence
The flowers grow and wilt again
The days are long but limited
We live our lives alone, my friend
We live our lives alone.
Thoughts we thought
Words we've said
The silenced moments
Not heard or read
Love unspoken
Secrets spilled
Broken promises
Have we still failed?
Our minds only hold what we will
Our lives we waste are our only thrill
The Beginning
Summer's here and it's ending fast
You sit and think how many days have passed
Rising heat, friends do fade
We're crawling out from under the shade.
Take it slow and relax,
There's no need to rush when you're caught in the cracks,
Stand alone and you stand blind,
All the world is intertwined.
So let it in and let it out,
Life's too short to do without.
So, let it out and let in,
This is only where we begin.
Untitled
You tell me things I've longed to hear you say
They make me sick inside
Knowing what I thought was failure was just an inconvience
"I know, I know, I won't cry"
Not just a touch, but a deep connection
Why must I feel it all the time
I want you now, more when you're by her side
Never say, "Goodbye"
Untitled
We see through closed eyes,
With lips sealed, we speak,
Listening to silence,
Acting before we think.
Drowning on dryland
Getting high, while on the ground
The world spins, standing still
& you swear we've lost ourselves
I wish I could sing to you what I see,
Yet only these words mumbled out onto paper
I want to make your soul hurt, just like mine
Someday you'll understand these things I say,
It's all in good time...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
01.13.09
I wish this crying headache would cause my brain to swell and burst. I can't breathe. I just threw up blood on the account of being so upset that I started gagging. I believe I torn some sort of tissue in my throat. Just one more thing to worry about...
I want to die. I don't want any of this anymore. What's life, really? All I am, is alone and hurt. Every single person! EVERY ONE OF THEM! They've all GONE! They either've died, moved and faded, or just cut me out. I don't see the point... Why try to feel when it all comes back as another piercing dagger in your side. It's true when they say life's a rose... and I just so happen to have a thorn bush attached to mine. I can't be alone anymore... I'd rather be nothing than feel. Anyone have arsenic?
I want to die. I don't want any of this anymore. What's life, really? All I am, is alone and hurt. Every single person! EVERY ONE OF THEM! They've all GONE! They either've died, moved and faded, or just cut me out. I don't see the point... Why try to feel when it all comes back as another piercing dagger in your side. It's true when they say life's a rose... and I just so happen to have a thorn bush attached to mine. I can't be alone anymore... I'd rather be nothing than feel. Anyone have arsenic?
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
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