Basicly, this entry is life events that have affected my writing... Posted it because it pretty much shows how most of my stuff is created... I was trying to write a piece before this drama, and finished it once all was said and done. So, the conversation below is chopped and edited to where even more personal stuff wasn't posted, but it's still very personal either way... The piece at the bottom was written pretty much because of Zakk, after all of this, and is whom I speak of... I love Zakk and we just have a very hard time, but I wouldn't be who I am without him.
*Text Messages*
Zakk
(8:20 PM): Babes
Heather
:Yes?
Zakk
(8:24 PM): I can't say hi
Heather
:Lol you sound questioning
Zakk
(8:26 PM): What's that mean?
Heather
:I don't know lol i can't explain it :/
Zakk
(9:16 PM): Took you a bit to reply.
(9:43 PM): Whatever.have fun with whatever your doing kid
(1:32 AM): Dude.your fucking shady.I hope you had fun with whomever last night.bitch
Heather
:What's your fucking problem? Did it ever occur to you i was out or doing something?
:Hmm or maybe that i'm asleep at fucking 1am... Or is that just too damn reasonable for you?
:And you're not going to do the whole jealous controlling lover shit cause i had to bitch at my friend casey.s nonboyfriend about it the whole night and it's repulsive!
*Myspace Bulletin*
Zakk
(1:37 AM)
Subject: I should've fucking figured
Body: Suck dick and die heather
*AIM Messages*
Auto Response: Zakk
(7:11:20 AM): And for some reason you confessed you loved me,that you always loved me.but like the death creeping up upon all of us,your love withered and died.fading from existance as if it never really existed at all.night heather
Heather
(5:19:15 AM): wow... really it takes me over 3 years of saying I love you haha and it's still a joke to you? Thanx... Thank you... No really... You've got it all figured out and your so right babe... Truly you are... You're a genius! Well, fuck you and your brilliance... The only person who's ever and always done the hurting has been you... Always... So, go right ahead... I'll go suck dick and die... I mean that is what pleases you isn't honey...
(5:23:36 AM): You were right, you are scum and you're a fucking duchebag...
Zakk
(6:02:17 AM): :[
Heather
(6:02:35 AM): ...
(6:02:58 AM): i'm really pissed
Zakk
(6:03:29 AM): Whatever
Heather
(6:03:41 AM): ?
Zakk
(6:04:12 AM): I texted you early on in the day,so that shoots down the sleep at 1 am
(6:04:19 AM): Oh and honey
(6:04:32 AM): Douche is spelled with an o
Heather
(6:04:43 AM): idc...
Zakk
(6:04:50 AM): Im going back to fucking sleep
Heather
(6:04:52 AM): and reallyl ike you know when i'm fucking sleeping
(6:04:59 AM): wtf zakk?
(6:05:04 AM): like seriously?
Zakk
(6:05:46 AM): Its great to wake up and get no reassurance and just negitivity when im being paranoid.no seriously.fuck you
Heather
(6:05:48 AM): i've got more shit going on in my life other than you... sorry
Zakk
(6:06:09 AM): Go fucking have a blast then!
(6:06:15 AM): Peace
Heather
(6:06:17 AM): yeah that's why you pretty much left a post on every resource of talking to you saying that i'm a bitch
(6:06:20 AM): and that i should fuck off
(6:06:21 AM): and die
(6:06:35 AM): like you just wiped me out and wrote me off w/ out even takling tome
(6:06:59 AM): yeah it's a fucking blast when everything's my fault zakk i love being chewed out for nothing
Zakk
(6:07:05 AM): You wouldn't answer me!on anything
(6:07:11 AM): It was friday
Heather
(6:07:31 AM): what does today being friday have anything to do w/ anything
Zakk
(6:07:40 AM): What should I expect
Heather
(6:07:43 AM): ?
(6:07:52 AM): apparently affairs and whoring
Zakk
(6:08:26 AM): Well makes it sem plausable you ignoring me and having plans with someone who isn't a jelous repulsive douchebag,ya know?
Heather
(6:08:37 AM): god this is why i didn't want to do this shit w/ you... you're too idk you just doubt me and think of me a such a slut you'll constantly be down my throat about it
Zakk
(6:09:21 AM): I mean god damn!
Heather
(6:09:26 AM): god damn what!
Zakk
(6:09:44 AM): All I wanted was some fucking attention from you
Heather
(6:10:07 AM): wtf zakk what do you expect me to do... constantly having you keep tabs on me like i'm a dog... FUCK ZAKK I CAN'T BE THERE FOR YOU EVER HOUR OF THE DAY
Zakk
(6:10:24 AM): I was alone all day and didn't even have you to fucking talk to like I would've wished!
(6:10:56 AM): Well I wish you could be there for me every hour of the day :[
Heather
(6:10:56 AM): im here now ugh... like fuck you think i wanna talk to you baby after you post all this shit about me
Zakk
(6:11:14 AM): Don't call me baby
Heather
(6:11:17 AM): :/ i wish that was doable sweetie but it's not... you're not always there when i need you
(6:11:24 AM): well fuck then
Zakk
(6:11:24 AM): Your upsetting me
(6:11:40 AM): I can't just wake up and be upset back with you,my angel
Heather
(6:11:44 AM): but i don't jump on you about shit
Zakk
(6:12:38 AM): Your jumping me now about my failures and faults that you were very aware of
Heather
(6:13:02 AM): i freak out too but only because i know how you do
Zakk
(6:13:03 AM): Sorry,im very unsure about myself and will never understand why anyone would care about me
(6:13:33 AM): But you don't need to throw it back in my FUCKING face when im not feeling so well!
(6:13:38 AM): Fuck
Heather
(6:13:44 AM): well pushing the person who you know does is fucking idotic
(6:14:14 AM): oh i'm sorry you're not well... it's not like ur the only damn one zakk... god you're so selfish
Zakk
(6:14:32 AM): Well maybe you don't,maybe if you did you'd be a little more understanding and caring in moments like this
Heather
(6:14:39 AM): as would you!
(6:14:49 AM): do you not realize why i'm pissed huh?
(6:14:54 AM): wake up to you erasing me
Zakk
(6:15:10 AM): Selfish?I was sleeping and I woke up just to hold you.I couldn't bare to see you cry
(6:15:33 AM): Ha,I can't erase you
Heather
(6:16:02 AM): okay one fucking act doesn't mean you're not selfish... well you sure as hell told me to die, such dick, deleted photos, and called me a lying slut
Zakk
(6:16:40 AM): Ugh
Heather
(6:16:41 AM): thanx dear i'm glad that i can wake up to that and ontop of that you yellingat me because i'm upset
Zakk
(6:17:06 AM): I saved the photos before I deleted them
(6:17:14 AM): Yelling?
Heather
(6:17:19 AM): oh wow! that's gracious...
Zakk
(6:17:21 AM): I want to skip this and just talk to you again
Heather
(6:17:38 AM): oh but when i try to calm it down and call you baby i get snapped at for it?
(6:17:55 AM): my anxiety is raving and i'm trying not to fucking scream
Zakk
(6:18:03 AM): But your on your anger roll,so im gonna get barraded more and hear everything negitive about mehuh?
Heather
(6:18:25 AM): well i had to hear your chicken shit way of doing it through little message trails
(6:18:35 AM): fucking bastard
Zakk
(6:18:38 AM): Hehe
(6:18:48 AM): You love me
(6:18:58 AM): And yes,I've never known my dad
(6:19:06 AM): Point taken?
Heather
(6:19:24 AM): what point is that exactly?
(6:20:13 AM): ugh i just want to fucking deck you right now!
Zakk
(6:20:30 AM): That im a bastard?that im selfish?that im a piece of shit?that im a failure?that you never wanted to be involved with me in the first place,that im arrogant
(6:20:59 AM): Well that's odd,id just like to kiss you.aha
Heather
(6:21:49 AM): god zakk really if you're just gonna keep pulling this bullshit what's the fucking point... You just push me away and tell me how i should just leave it... like wtf? what the hell do youw ant me to do? It sounds as if you want me gone so you can just prove your fucking point...
Zakk
(6:22:16 AM): Gone?
(6:22:23 AM): No I want you close
(6:22:31 AM): It may be selfish idc
(6:22:56 AM): But if you don't answer it makes me feel pathetic like im the only one who cares
(6:23:18 AM): And ill feel like I need to push you away before you lose interest and move on
Heather
(6:23:29 AM): oh? so should i freak on you when you don't reply... at least i'm fucking logical and realize your either smoking with some bitch, by yourself or sleeping
Zakk
Stop being a fucking cunt heather,im really getting pissed off
Heather
(6:24:03 AM): Oh? so it's better to shove me off then just let it play out and not work out naturally if that's how it might be
Zakk
(6:24:18 AM): Im trying to admitt im wrong but I fucking get tired of hearing your shit!
Heather
(6:24:40 AM): but like the death creeping up upon all of us,your love withered and died.... Nice touch.
Zakk
(6:24:46 AM): Im trying to work it out now,your the one fighting me bitch
Heather
(6:25:04 AM): yeah i'm a bitch i'm a cunt... be fucking satisfied
Zakk
(6:25:04 AM): I thought of it on the spot,I liked it
Heather
(6:25:28 AM): oh and i'm shady
(6:25:39 AM): i'm just a kid to you zakk
Zakk
(6:25:48 AM): Im a lot more satisfied and you give me kisses everywhere,this makes me feel like a cigarette
(6:26:19 AM): At one point you were,yes.ill admit that
Heather
(6:26:22 AM): your older... wiser...more aware... I'm just a slut with a mouth that you'd prefer to shut
Zakk
(6:26:32 AM): But its no longer the case
(6:26:51 AM): Okay,that ones not true
Heather
(6:27:45 AM): i'm insulted zakk!
Zakk
(6:28:35 AM): I don't need to be barraded,im going to be selfish and think of my emotions andignore you
Heather
(6:28:37 AM): and you think ignoring me or trying to change the subjects going to make it just fade away?
(6:28:52 AM): fuck you
Zakk
(6:29:00 AM): Your the only person who can tear me down and make me wanna kill myfuckingself
Heather
(6:29:05 AM): i have goddamn real emotions zakk that have always been here
(6:29:20 AM): i've put up with your shit for so long zakk...
(6:29:26 AM): i've been here...
(6:29:38 AM): you've made me lower than fucking low
Zakk
(6:29:38 AM): Ha
(6:29:44 AM): Been there?
(6:29:53 AM): You give me the shit back!
Heather
(6:29:59 AM): when you've fucking told me off time and time again
Zakk
(6:30:13 AM): And I don't wanna carry on our tradition of fighting
Heather
(6:30:37 AM): 3 fucking years zakk... for you to fucking love me and admit it... and you throw it in my god damn face
Zakk
(6:30:53 AM): Ohh I get it
(6:31:43 AM): This is the part where you realize it was too good to be true and drop the lovely thing we had,calling it quits because you not talking to me
(6:32:14 AM): I mean fuck,do you not realize that if not hearing from you got to me so bad I I really am falling for you?
(6:33:48 AM): I don't fucking want this
(6:34:00 AM): Leave me alone!
(6:34:12 AM): Fuck
(6:34:28 AM): See?im tearing up again
Heather
(6:34:32 AM): i'm trying to explain to you if you would have let me get to it
Zakk
(6:35:47 AM): Explain what?how im a piece of shit?how im no good for you and cody was oh so much better and im a fucking mistake?yea I fucking know.where my picture on your wall?
*Text Messages*
Zakk
(8:20 PM): Babes
Heather
:Yes?
Zakk
(8:24 PM): I can't say hi
Heather
:Lol you sound questioning
Zakk
(8:26 PM): What's that mean?
Heather
:I don't know lol i can't explain it :/
Zakk
(9:16 PM): Took you a bit to reply.
(9:43 PM): Whatever.have fun with whatever your doing kid
(1:32 AM): Dude.your fucking shady.I hope you had fun with whomever last night.bitch
Heather
:What's your fucking problem? Did it ever occur to you i was out or doing something?
:Hmm or maybe that i'm asleep at fucking 1am... Or is that just too damn reasonable for you?
:And you're not going to do the whole jealous controlling lover shit cause i had to bitch at my friend casey.s nonboyfriend about it the whole night and it's repulsive!
*Myspace Bulletin*
Zakk
(1:37 AM)
Subject: I should've fucking figured
Body: Suck dick and die heather
*AIM Messages*
Auto Response: Zakk
(7:11:20 AM): And for some reason you confessed you loved me,that you always loved me.but like the death creeping up upon all of us,your love withered and died.fading from existance as if it never really existed at all.night heather
Heather
(5:19:15 AM): wow... really it takes me over 3 years of saying I love you haha and it's still a joke to you? Thanx... Thank you... No really... You've got it all figured out and your so right babe... Truly you are... You're a genius! Well, fuck you and your brilliance... The only person who's ever and always done the hurting has been you... Always... So, go right ahead... I'll go suck dick and die... I mean that is what pleases you isn't honey...
(5:23:36 AM): You were right, you are scum and you're a fucking duchebag...
Zakk
(6:02:17 AM): :[
Heather
(6:02:35 AM): ...
(6:02:58 AM): i'm really pissed
Zakk
(6:03:29 AM): Whatever
Heather
(6:03:41 AM): ?
Zakk
(6:04:12 AM): I texted you early on in the day,so that shoots down the sleep at 1 am
(6:04:19 AM): Oh and honey
(6:04:32 AM): Douche is spelled with an o
Heather
(6:04:43 AM): idc...
Zakk
(6:04:50 AM): Im going back to fucking sleep
Heather
(6:04:52 AM): and reallyl ike you know when i'm fucking sleeping
(6:04:59 AM): wtf zakk?
(6:05:04 AM): like seriously?
Zakk
(6:05:46 AM): Its great to wake up and get no reassurance and just negitivity when im being paranoid.no seriously.fuck you
Heather
(6:05:48 AM): i've got more shit going on in my life other than you... sorry
Zakk
(6:06:09 AM): Go fucking have a blast then!
(6:06:15 AM): Peace
Heather
(6:06:17 AM): yeah that's why you pretty much left a post on every resource of talking to you saying that i'm a bitch
(6:06:20 AM): and that i should fuck off
(6:06:21 AM): and die
(6:06:35 AM): like you just wiped me out and wrote me off w/ out even takling tome
(6:06:59 AM): yeah it's a fucking blast when everything's my fault zakk i love being chewed out for nothing
Zakk
(6:07:05 AM): You wouldn't answer me!on anything
(6:07:11 AM): It was friday
Heather
(6:07:31 AM): what does today being friday have anything to do w/ anything
Zakk
(6:07:40 AM): What should I expect
Heather
(6:07:43 AM): ?
(6:07:52 AM): apparently affairs and whoring
Zakk
(6:08:26 AM): Well makes it sem plausable you ignoring me and having plans with someone who isn't a jelous repulsive douchebag,ya know?
Heather
(6:08:37 AM): god this is why i didn't want to do this shit w/ you... you're too idk you just doubt me and think of me a such a slut you'll constantly be down my throat about it
Zakk
(6:09:21 AM): I mean god damn!
Heather
(6:09:26 AM): god damn what!
Zakk
(6:09:44 AM): All I wanted was some fucking attention from you
Heather
(6:10:07 AM): wtf zakk what do you expect me to do... constantly having you keep tabs on me like i'm a dog... FUCK ZAKK I CAN'T BE THERE FOR YOU EVER HOUR OF THE DAY
Zakk
(6:10:24 AM): I was alone all day and didn't even have you to fucking talk to like I would've wished!
(6:10:56 AM): Well I wish you could be there for me every hour of the day :[
Heather
(6:10:56 AM): im here now ugh... like fuck you think i wanna talk to you baby after you post all this shit about me
Zakk
(6:11:14 AM): Don't call me baby
Heather
(6:11:17 AM): :/ i wish that was doable sweetie but it's not... you're not always there when i need you
(6:11:24 AM): well fuck then
Zakk
(6:11:24 AM): Your upsetting me
(6:11:40 AM): I can't just wake up and be upset back with you,my angel
Heather
(6:11:44 AM): but i don't jump on you about shit
Zakk
(6:12:38 AM): Your jumping me now about my failures and faults that you were very aware of
Heather
(6:13:02 AM): i freak out too but only because i know how you do
Zakk
(6:13:03 AM): Sorry,im very unsure about myself and will never understand why anyone would care about me
(6:13:33 AM): But you don't need to throw it back in my FUCKING face when im not feeling so well!
(6:13:38 AM): Fuck
Heather
(6:13:44 AM): well pushing the person who you know does is fucking idotic
(6:14:14 AM): oh i'm sorry you're not well... it's not like ur the only damn one zakk... god you're so selfish
Zakk
(6:14:32 AM): Well maybe you don't,maybe if you did you'd be a little more understanding and caring in moments like this
Heather
(6:14:39 AM): as would you!
(6:14:49 AM): do you not realize why i'm pissed huh?
(6:14:54 AM): wake up to you erasing me
Zakk
(6:15:10 AM): Selfish?I was sleeping and I woke up just to hold you.I couldn't bare to see you cry
(6:15:33 AM): Ha,I can't erase you
Heather
(6:16:02 AM): okay one fucking act doesn't mean you're not selfish... well you sure as hell told me to die, such dick, deleted photos, and called me a lying slut
Zakk
(6:16:40 AM): Ugh
Heather
(6:16:41 AM): thanx dear i'm glad that i can wake up to that and ontop of that you yellingat me because i'm upset
Zakk
(6:17:06 AM): I saved the photos before I deleted them
(6:17:14 AM): Yelling?
Heather
(6:17:19 AM): oh wow! that's gracious...
Zakk
(6:17:21 AM): I want to skip this and just talk to you again
Heather
(6:17:38 AM): oh but when i try to calm it down and call you baby i get snapped at for it?
(6:17:55 AM): my anxiety is raving and i'm trying not to fucking scream
Zakk
(6:18:03 AM): But your on your anger roll,so im gonna get barraded more and hear everything negitive about mehuh?
Heather
(6:18:25 AM): well i had to hear your chicken shit way of doing it through little message trails
(6:18:35 AM): fucking bastard
Zakk
(6:18:38 AM): Hehe
(6:18:48 AM): You love me
(6:18:58 AM): And yes,I've never known my dad
(6:19:06 AM): Point taken?
Heather
(6:19:24 AM): what point is that exactly?
(6:20:13 AM): ugh i just want to fucking deck you right now!
Zakk
(6:20:30 AM): That im a bastard?that im selfish?that im a piece of shit?that im a failure?that you never wanted to be involved with me in the first place,that im arrogant
(6:20:59 AM): Well that's odd,id just like to kiss you.aha
Heather
(6:21:49 AM): god zakk really if you're just gonna keep pulling this bullshit what's the fucking point... You just push me away and tell me how i should just leave it... like wtf? what the hell do youw ant me to do? It sounds as if you want me gone so you can just prove your fucking point...
Zakk
(6:22:16 AM): Gone?
(6:22:23 AM): No I want you close
(6:22:31 AM): It may be selfish idc
(6:22:56 AM): But if you don't answer it makes me feel pathetic like im the only one who cares
(6:23:18 AM): And ill feel like I need to push you away before you lose interest and move on
Heather
(6:23:29 AM): oh? so should i freak on you when you don't reply... at least i'm fucking logical and realize your either smoking with some bitch, by yourself or sleeping
Zakk
Stop being a fucking cunt heather,im really getting pissed off
Heather
(6:24:03 AM): Oh? so it's better to shove me off then just let it play out and not work out naturally if that's how it might be
Zakk
(6:24:18 AM): Im trying to admitt im wrong but I fucking get tired of hearing your shit!
Heather
(6:24:40 AM): but like the death creeping up upon all of us,your love withered and died.... Nice touch.
Zakk
(6:24:46 AM): Im trying to work it out now,your the one fighting me bitch
Heather
(6:25:04 AM): yeah i'm a bitch i'm a cunt... be fucking satisfied
Zakk
(6:25:04 AM): I thought of it on the spot,I liked it
Heather
(6:25:28 AM): oh and i'm shady
(6:25:39 AM): i'm just a kid to you zakk
Zakk
(6:25:48 AM): Im a lot more satisfied and you give me kisses everywhere,this makes me feel like a cigarette
(6:26:19 AM): At one point you were,yes.ill admit that
Heather
(6:26:22 AM): your older... wiser...more aware... I'm just a slut with a mouth that you'd prefer to shut
Zakk
(6:26:32 AM): But its no longer the case
(6:26:51 AM): Okay,that ones not true
Heather
(6:27:45 AM): i'm insulted zakk!
Zakk
(6:28:35 AM): I don't need to be barraded,im going to be selfish and think of my emotions andignore you
Heather
(6:28:37 AM): and you think ignoring me or trying to change the subjects going to make it just fade away?
(6:28:52 AM): fuck you
Zakk
(6:29:00 AM): Your the only person who can tear me down and make me wanna kill myfuckingself
Heather
(6:29:05 AM): i have goddamn real emotions zakk that have always been here
(6:29:20 AM): i've put up with your shit for so long zakk...
(6:29:26 AM): i've been here...
(6:29:38 AM): you've made me lower than fucking low
Zakk
(6:29:38 AM): Ha
(6:29:44 AM): Been there?
(6:29:53 AM): You give me the shit back!
Heather
(6:29:59 AM): when you've fucking told me off time and time again
Zakk
(6:30:13 AM): And I don't wanna carry on our tradition of fighting
Heather
(6:30:37 AM): 3 fucking years zakk... for you to fucking love me and admit it... and you throw it in my god damn face
Zakk
(6:30:53 AM): Ohh I get it
(6:31:43 AM): This is the part where you realize it was too good to be true and drop the lovely thing we had,calling it quits because you not talking to me
(6:32:14 AM): I mean fuck,do you not realize that if not hearing from you got to me so bad I I really am falling for you?
(6:33:48 AM): I don't fucking want this
(6:34:00 AM): Leave me alone!
(6:34:12 AM): Fuck
(6:34:28 AM): See?im tearing up again
Heather
(6:34:32 AM): i'm trying to explain to you if you would have let me get to it
Zakk
(6:35:47 AM): Explain what?how im a piece of shit?how im no good for you and cody was oh so much better and im a fucking mistake?yea I fucking know.where my picture on your wall?
[The Picture Zakk's Referring To...]
Heather
(6:36:30 AM): FUCK YOU THAT WAS A FUCKING ART PROJECT BACK IN MAY
Zakk
(6:37:01 AM): It sounds like your done with me
Heather
(6:37:04 AM): that night you stayed was the first time i felt like you really were right zakk
Zakk
(6:37:21 AM): Heather
(6:37:36 AM): You don't even know how happy you make me when you are around
(6:40:46 AM): Everyone else I just laugh and smile at when im upset,then I tear them apart
(6:40:57 AM): I can't even properly fight with you
(6:45:59 AM): Look im really upset and I really need to go back to sleep before I do something stupid
Heather
(6:46:49 AM): please talk to me zakk i'm trying to tell you how i feel and i need you to understand :/ I'm not trying to hurt you or upset you... I love you... i'm just fucked up and why would you do something stupid?
Zakk
(6:49:35 AM): Well it makes it kinda a hard idea to ignore when someone constantly points out every fault about you that you fucking hate every time she gets upset with you
Heather
(6:50:15 AM): what do you do to me? and i do it because i know it gets to you and if you get to me, it's my only defense... I told you i'm a fucking bitch and tear people down when i go off
Zakk
(6:50:48 AM): Well im torn down
(6:50:56 AM): Feel good?
(6:54:14 AM): You have to make me feel like dirt
(7:10:00 AM): I wish you didn't hurt me
(7:10:06 AM): You make me so happy
Heather
(7:10:46 AM): I wish I wasn't so empty that I could do it... You make me happy to dear...
Zakk
(7:11:01 AM): Your not empty
(7:11:30 AM): I know you so much better than you know yourself
(7:11:54 AM): And you don't realize it because your so wrapped up in trying to figure yourslef out
(7:12:11 AM): Your not dead
(7:12:26 AM): You wish you were dead inside because your so hurt
(7:13:03 AM): Because you ignore the pain with a dull numbness
(7:13:49 AM): Even if you ignore your pain,its still there
(7:14:08 AM): Your so much like me
(7:15:02 AM): And that's why you sleep all day
(7:16:12 AM): Because everything sucks,nothings fun,nothings real,everythings stupid,noone cares,everyones selfish,noones loyal and at least in sleep you can enjoy your illusions of happiness.am I right?
(7:17:36 AM): You'll realize someday how much I know you
(7:17:54 AM): When I wake up ill put the pics back up ok?
(7:18:03 AM): Goodnight now
Heather
(7:18:10 AM): i don't like it... and i want it to stop... okay :/ Goodnight baby
(7:18:34 AM): i love you zakk
Zakk
(7:18:53 AM): I love you heather
___________________________________________________________________
Tell me, where do I drop anchor?
There's not a place in sight...
No, they're just not right...
This shadow consumes everything...
I'm sick of being scared...
To live, to love, to trust
So much, it tears me away
From all I am thinking of.
Conflictions an addiction...
Is it by choice or by fault?
Either one leads back here.
With another burden, I take the fall...
I can't keep analyzing what I've done...
For, I don't know myself or what I'll become.
Yet, you...You read me so well...
Write it out, then maybe,
I could stop devouring myself.
How lost can a person be?
You're my solution.
You're what saves me...
Don't let me push you...
Promise you'll stay.
I don't want to lose you,
You're what keeps me awake when it's day.
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